readerjane (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
readerjane) wrote2012-01-04 06:08 pm
readerjane) wrote2012-01-04 06:08 pm
Three Inches Too Slight
My review of the pilot episode of Three Inches (Watch the whole thing here! Unless it has been TOS'd.) which was shown on SyFy as a TV movie but was not picked up for a series.
Remember the late nineties, when movies came in twos? Armageddon and Deep Impact, for example. Same year, same premise.
Three Inches has the same basic premise as Alphas, but is not executed as well. SyFy made the right choice when it went with Alphas. Which makes me sad, because my favorite pretty James Marsters has a lead role in Three Inches. Woe.
Noah Reid plays Walter Spackman, a sweet young man who has lost his job and had to move back in with his mom. He declares his lifelong love for girl-next-door Lily, only to be shot down. Morose, Walter sits in the rain -- and is struck by lightning.
When Walter wakes up in the hospital, he has a new superpower -- telekinesis, but he can only move objects three inches. He is recruited by Troy (JM) to join a secret band of superheroes and fight evil.
I think my favorite part of the story is Walter's interactions with his mother. Mom starts out the morning carrying a tray of eggs, bacon and orange juice up the stairs, yelling "Wake up, my little boomerang! Up and at 'em!" This is a woman who knows her son's not a loser -- he's just having a hard time. She has the mother's urge to take care of him, but she's not gonna make the nest too comfortable.
The supergang is where Three Inches falters. They're cardboard characters. There's a dude who can see two minutes into the future, but it gives him a migraine. One woman can project emotions, and another (Naoko Mori -- does she have any expression at all?) can replicate human voices. The kid in particular (superpower: generating stinky smells) is a far cry from Ryan Cartwright's adorkable Gary Bell.
The setup is problematic as well. Walter has doubts about Troy's heroic credentials, but all the team members do is tell him to shut up and not worry about his ethical qualms. The script ham-handedly sets Troy up as Walter's father figure when a subtler sketching of that dynamic would have been far more powerful.
And don't get me started on Walter's maiden mission. Note to scriptwriters: when most of your characters ignore the fact that the "package" they were asked to deliver is in fact a kidnapped ten-year-old girl, that doesn't make them cool and edgy. It just makes them tools. Having the leader thank the rookie after it's all over for disobeying orders and releasing the girl because that gave the leader deniability to his client?? Sorry, that doesn't plaster over the gaping moral hole in this plotline. I wanted to tell Walter to run away as fast as he could.
Also, the whole Pinocchio metaphor was, sorry, wooden.
I was glad to see JM working. He had a couple of lovely moments. As always, I'd listen to him read the phonebook. Andrea Martin and Noah Reid as mother and son were a delight.
But all in all, it's a good thing Three Inches didn't last any longer.
Remember the late nineties, when movies came in twos? Armageddon and Deep Impact, for example. Same year, same premise.
Three Inches has the same basic premise as Alphas, but is not executed as well. SyFy made the right choice when it went with Alphas. Which makes me sad, because my favorite pretty James Marsters has a lead role in Three Inches. Woe.
Noah Reid plays Walter Spackman, a sweet young man who has lost his job and had to move back in with his mom. He declares his lifelong love for girl-next-door Lily, only to be shot down. Morose, Walter sits in the rain -- and is struck by lightning.
When Walter wakes up in the hospital, he has a new superpower -- telekinesis, but he can only move objects three inches. He is recruited by Troy (JM) to join a secret band of superheroes and fight evil.
I think my favorite part of the story is Walter's interactions with his mother. Mom starts out the morning carrying a tray of eggs, bacon and orange juice up the stairs, yelling "Wake up, my little boomerang! Up and at 'em!" This is a woman who knows her son's not a loser -- he's just having a hard time. She has the mother's urge to take care of him, but she's not gonna make the nest too comfortable.
The supergang is where Three Inches falters. They're cardboard characters. There's a dude who can see two minutes into the future, but it gives him a migraine. One woman can project emotions, and another (Naoko Mori -- does she have any expression at all?) can replicate human voices. The kid in particular (superpower: generating stinky smells) is a far cry from Ryan Cartwright's adorkable Gary Bell.
The setup is problematic as well. Walter has doubts about Troy's heroic credentials, but all the team members do is tell him to shut up and not worry about his ethical qualms. The script ham-handedly sets Troy up as Walter's father figure when a subtler sketching of that dynamic would have been far more powerful.
And don't get me started on Walter's maiden mission. Note to scriptwriters: when most of your characters ignore the fact that the "package" they were asked to deliver is in fact a kidnapped ten-year-old girl, that doesn't make them cool and edgy. It just makes them tools. Having the leader thank the rookie after it's all over for disobeying orders and releasing the girl because that gave the leader deniability to his client?? Sorry, that doesn't plaster over the gaping moral hole in this plotline. I wanted to tell Walter to run away as fast as he could.
Also, the whole Pinocchio metaphor was, sorry, wooden.
I was glad to see JM working. He had a couple of lovely moments. As always, I'd listen to him read the phonebook. Andrea Martin and Noah Reid as mother and son were a delight.
But all in all, it's a good thing Three Inches didn't last any longer.